12 American Etiquette Rules We All Break (Without Realising)

We all know the common etiquette rules, like saying please and thank you and holding the door open for the person behind us. But do we all follow them? Whether it’s skipping the simple thank-you note after receiving a gift from someone or checking your phone during a conversation, these missteps are common and more impolite than you might think. Today we’re sharing some common American etiquette rules that often go overlooked and looking into the ways we’re unintentionally breaking the rules. Get ready to learn all about American etiquette! 

1. Handshake When Meeting Someone

The rule is to shake someone’s hand upon meeting them. Nice and firm is usually best. Though this rule is often still used in professional settings, it’s less often used in daily interactions. Shaking someone’s hand when meeting someone can demonstrate a level of respect, professionalism, and politeness. Instead of just saying “hello” next time, extend your hand and offer to shake it. You might feel awkward about it at first, but the more you do it, the more normal it will feel.

2. Maintaining Eye Contact

Maintaining eye contact is considered polite and professional, but not many people do it because it feels uncomfortable. Next time you’re talking with someone, try to maintain eye contact and make it a more common thing for you.

3. Punctuality

It’s considered polite to be on time always and perhaps even slightly early, but in reality, how often does that actually happen? Most people have a million things they’re trying to do and a hundred thousand places they’re trying to get to, so punctuality doesn’t always make the top of the list of priorities. Sometimes it’s just not even possible with how busy everyone is. We’d say to leave earlier, leave more time to get from place to place, but these are things you probably have heard a thousand times! Punctuality is something that is ever-evolving, and you have to continuously work on.

4. Napkin on Lap When Eating

Next time you sit down to eat, instead of pushing your napkin to the side, spread it open on your lap. This is considered polite in American culture, though it’s becoming less and less common for people to do it. 

5. Opening a Gift 

It’s common American etiquette to open a gift in front of the gift giver so you can express gratitude upon receiving it. Though this is becoming less common as people open gifts when they have the emotional and mental space to do it. 

6. Sending a Thank You Note

After you open a gift, it’s customary for you to send a thank-you note to the person who gave you the gift. This gesture not only shows your appreciation but also strengthens your relationship with the giver. A heartfelt note can make the giver feel valued and acknowledged for their thoughtfulness. So the next time you get a gift, you might want to send a little note thanking the gift giver if you’re trying to up your etiquette game.

7. RSVP-ing to Invitations

When you receive an invitation, it’s more common to just mentally decide whether or not you want to attend, but actually RSVPing is the more polite thing to do. This helps the host know how many guests to expect and be adequately prepared. The next time you receive an invitation, consider RSVPing by the date requested.

8. Cell Phone Etiquette

Commonly, people use their cell phones all the time. It’s more common that your phone is like an extension of your hand more than anything. This constant connection can lead to both positive and negative effects on our daily lives. While it allows for instant communication and access to information, it can also result in distractions and a decrease in face-to-face interactions. It’s considered impolite to pull your phone out during conversations and scroll or check messages, but most of us are probably doing it without even realising. 

9. Offering Your Seat to Others

When was the last time you offered your seat to someone else who might need it? It’s good American etiquette to offer your seat to someone in need, especially if they’re elderly or expecting, but really, anyone who needs it. This practice has diminished a fair bit, but there’s something to be said about it. It’s a simple gesture that can make a big difference in someone else’s day.

10. Not Interrupting Others

When people are talking, it’s very common to get excited about what you have to say and interrupt them when they’re speaking. This is considered rude but also somewhat normal and something that is very easy to be more mindful of. Wait until someone is finished speaking before you start speaking if you want to make the best impression.

11. Tipping

It’s customary in the United States to tip all service workers. In fact, if you don’t, you might find yourself getting some dirty looks or snide remarks. This practice stems from the belief that tipping is a way to reward good service and ensure that workers are compensated fairly. As a result, many people factor tips into their budget when dining out or utilising services such as haircuts or taxis. But with the rising costs and inflation, it can be hard for people to fork out more cash than what is required, and therefore tipping has become an American custom that is dying with time.

12. Waiting in Line

Though Americans know they should wait in line and respect the order, it doesn’t always happen. In crowded places, such as airports or popular tourist attractions, the chaos can lead to some individuals bypassing the queue altogether. This behaviour often sparks frustration among those who patiently adhere to the rules, highlighting the ongoing struggle between civility and impatience in public settings.

Conclusion

In the end, these are twelve American etiquette rules that most people are missing the memo on. Most people are breaking these American etiquette rules without even realising it! So the next time you find yourself receiving a gift, in a conversation with someone, receiving an invitation, or sitting in a seat, you might remember these little customs and put them into practice!